You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
