you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
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I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
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You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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