you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
