Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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