Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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