i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
