He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
