so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
