I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Randomize