Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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