dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
