i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
