Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
