Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Randomize
