He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
