his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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