come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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