hotel room ftw
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
