we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
