I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
