I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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