and you said cock pushups were impossible
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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