went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
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