Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
and she was petting her beer can
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
She's just so happy...and so naked.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
