There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
