And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize