Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
