i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize