So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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