Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize