In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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