Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
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