I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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