He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
