were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
