He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
