i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Randomize
