sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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