You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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