I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Randomize