i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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