I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
