I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
