Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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