i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize