Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
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