I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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