Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
