She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
We left an ass print on the piano.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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