Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
did i walk over a car last night?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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