Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Just invented taco cereal.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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