i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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