think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
