sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
