Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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