apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
