Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
