would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
