Its about making memories worth repressing
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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