D3 body, D1 cock
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
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